playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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