this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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