He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
