it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Randomize
