I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
