i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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