I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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