are you so shy because you have an std?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
