yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
