Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
