so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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