So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize