"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
