Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
