nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
