wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
