ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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