i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
