yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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