The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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