So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
