I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
