Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
