Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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