this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
That's when you crack a 10am beer
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
In other news, I just burned my penis
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
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