You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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