Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
