Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize