no, he came in my armpit
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
