I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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