Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
