yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.