All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
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I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
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She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position