In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
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we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
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new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
I am invincible.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.