Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
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i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
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This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then