Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.