Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
