Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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