Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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