kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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