I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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