We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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