i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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