KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Stone age, man.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me