Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
