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i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
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