maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
