part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
