matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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