I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i drank out of a bidet.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
