will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
