The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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