i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
