it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Randomize