Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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