Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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