Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
