ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
