help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
