we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize