Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Randomize
