Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
