i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
