ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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