I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
