Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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