I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
