I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
