the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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